12 Things Switch 2’s Mysterious Not-C-Button Might Do, Maybe

#1 ‘Surprise/Delight’ button

What’s that? Nintendo’s lost its sense of innovation and went all boring with Switch 2? Well, how about random button dedicated solely to playfulness?

Wherever you are, hitting the Surprise-Delight button will do something wacky and unpredictable. Maybe it plays a random power-up sound on the menu, or makes all the menu icons turn upside down, or the profile pics get into a Smash-style brawl at the top of the screen.

Or how about some Eternal Darkness-style mind-messing? We’re thinking pop-ups saying all your save data is being erased or ‘Thank you for purchasing $2000 of eShop credit.’

Less ‘delight’ with those, possibly, but this Pandora’s Box button would keep you on your toes.

#2 ‘Open Google Sheets’ button

Hey, you need somewhere to make notes and make a list of all the games you want, right? Time to call up a spreadsheet!

Thinking about it, a Notes page would be pretty handy for scribbling things — we would have liked to have that while playing Lorelei — and that’s more likely than the spreadsheet thing. Okay, ‘Notes App button’ it is, then.

#3 ‘Mother 3 Western Localisation Request’ button

Every time you press the button, an email is sent to Nintendo formally requesting an official localised release of Mother 3 in the West.

Nintendo assures us this is the case, although a Joy-Con teardown reveals that the button isn’t actually connected to the board.

#4 ‘Deletes the screenshot you accidentally took when you meant to press the Home button’ button

We’ve all forgotten which is which and accidentally snapped a screenshot instead of hitting the home button. Or we’ve given the kids the Joy-Con and later found 47 shots and 9 video clips saved in the images folder.

This button instantly deletes the last screenshot or video you took so you don’t have to go into the menu and delete them manually. Boom! Next-gen stuff.

#5 ‘Send To Screen’ button

What’s this? A vaguely serious suggestion?

While Wii U levels of dual-screen shenanigans feel unlikely, and the ability to play the Switch on a TV without docking it could be confusing, it’s not beyond the realms of possibility that Switch 2 could beam a signal of some sort to the dock without being physically attached. Rumours that the dock has some juice of its own this time round suggest that something might be possible, though again, a full-on stream-to-screen button seems unlikely.

Imagine an extremely simple Nintendo Land-style minigame that was rendered and streamed to the TV for other players while the Switch-wielder held the main unit with a different view. Imagine a DS Nintendo Switch Online app which streamed the top screen to the TV while the bottom screen displayed on the Switch. For DS emulation, ‘Mouse Mode’ could offer a decent solution for enabling touch-style precision on a TV screen, but there are always other possibilities.

Speaking of which…

#6 ‘Mouse Mode’ button

If the optical sensors in the Joy-Con are going to be used for mouse-like input, you don’t want them active all the time you’re holding the controllers normally; a discrete button for turning that mode on and off makes eminent sense.

Not the most exciting possibility, granted, but a realistic one at least. Okay, let’s get back to dreaming.

#7 ‘Miyamoto’s Cutscene Skip’ button

This button is actually a holdover from Switch ‘1’ developer units – a skip button specifically added to appease the man who famously prioritises gameplay over any of that narrative rubbish. Jump straight to the hot gameplay whenever you’re getting bogged down in lore dumps and endless reams of text.

Suggestions that he wore out this button on three separate Joy-Con while playtesting Pikmin 4’s opening hours are unconfirmed.

#8 ‘Reject All’ button

Cookies gonna get ya, and Nintendo’s gonna be presenting ads of Legitimate Interest on Switch 2!* However, Nintendo also knows how laborious and undelightful it can be to manually switch off all those sliders, so reject ’em all with one button press!

Alternatively, hey, not to say that we don’t read every single word of the 40-page doc that our favourite publishers like hitting us with before we’ve got to the main menu, but sometimes you might just need a refresher on the Ts & Cs. Nintendo to the rescue with the ‘EULA Recall’ button!

*Not really. Well, not as far as we know.

#9 ‘Miiverse-y Playtest-y Social Hub’ button

Nintendo’s making a new social hub dontyaknow! Nintendo’s bringing back Miiverse… probably! Nintendo misses moderating all those interesting pics!

Hmm, we’re not convinced with this one, but it’s always possible that the new button could have some sort of social aspect and instantly opens a new online portal. Anyone who took part in the Playtest Program late last year could imagine a hub built around that idea, we’re sure.

Despite the nostalgia and vibes, we’re not convinced people really want Miiverse back, as neat as it was at the time. We’ll discuss that some more soon, but hey, if ‘Google Sheets button’ makes the list, ‘Social Share wotsit thingy button’ works too.

#10 ‘Fingerprint’ scanner

Who says it’s a button, eh? Nintendo didn’t. What’s to say it’s not a fingerprint scanner?

For parents, this could be a godsend. Instead of remembering a PIN for eShop purchases and unlocking the console with a code once the playtime counter is up, a quick thumbprint press would be great for verifying purchases and the like.

Apparently some people online are speculating it’s the world’s smallest touchpad. Smile and nod at those people. Or alternatively…

#11 ‘Block’ button

Time is a commodity and nobody wants to put up with idiocy during precious leisure time. Introducing the Block button, a simple way to nope the hell outta there!

Rid yourselves of trolls and general plonkers by instantly encasing them in Nintendo’s patented cube, wherein they will turn into something useful in-game, like a Starman or a 1-Up mushroom.

The shape of the button dictates the name here, but we can workshop it.

#12 Switch *Click* button

Perhaps our favourite aspect of the Switch 2 trailer was the new ‘clack’ sound the magnetic Joy-Con make when they…, well, when they ‘clack’ into the sides of the new system.

However, this does mean it’s the end of the glorious ‘click’ era we’ve enjoyed with Switch since its 2016 reveal. What will presenters of Nintendo Directs do now when they’re introducing new games? Clap like they’re beckoning a waiter to the table in an overbearing, pompous manner?

Big questions, for sure, but for nostalgia lovers indulging in some backwards compatibility with the old Switch, this Click button will take you back to the previous generation. *click*

*click*

*click* *click* *click* *click* *click*

Ha, you’d think it’d get annoying, but we could do this all day!

*click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *SLAP*